leaving on a jetplane

i'll be leaving the country later. am so excited. finally after a year i can be on the other place again. hehe. tintamad akong mgblog hahaha. next time nalang basta un aalis ako ng bansa mamaya. :))

the funny thing about love

i can't remember when was the last time i fell in love. at least for some reasons. i felt it. now i'm starting to doubt, if it was really love that i felt. funny thing about it, that when you blew it off, it keeps coming back. what's wrong with the world. you kept on thinking on the past, dwelling on what might could have been between the the two of you. BUT ITS OVER. all are just memories. the rest are uncertainties.

what if you wait? does it pay you?
what if he told you he loves you, while he was holding on to someone's hands? would you mind?
what if you have the power to bring back everything, to change everything, would you do it?

...a lot of questions, and the answers are so few.

so how is the past still haunting me??

oh don't ask me, even I, can't even answer my own question..


***venting out***
i need some space!

just got home.

a cinderella story

i remember when i was i child, we used to celebrate brithday in restaurants, or a big birthday house party. with all those party hats and palaro. its nice and it was fun. you just run around chasing your buddy for a game, take home all the party bags and nobody would care. you wear your nicest party dress. years past, time moves slowly, little did i know i was 19, been in a party of a classmate and when i was around i remember those days and i can't help but think or rather compare. a pack of juice in exchange of a tequila shot, a plate full of long curling spaghetti to so-hot-oval-plate-fat packed sisig. from habulan to pusoy dos from licking your lollipop to smoking your own cigarette stick.. it is fun, too. doing this adult stuff and the grown up party. i have a lot of things in my mind. when i was in the jeepney on my way home, i thought of a lot of things! my neurons are surely firing up. from the coffee that dexter, my classmate, made.

so this is what you call a party. a celebration a what we fondly call.. at least in our generation.

i had this research i need to rush in for tomorrow. oh before i forget, i got a grade of FLAT 1.0 in our oral revalida. well, the feeling felt like i ws in cloud 9. but somehow, i was a bit disappointed because i was expecting a different diease. to somehow motivate my sthen sleeping neuron and recall all those weird looking scheme of disease ( concept mapping as what we call it) but anyway to sum it up, i am feeling conented, blessed and thankful for this day, although some part of it got into my nerves but it was yet another lesson learned, and another blog posted. till then i'll see ye later.i'll be hangin' around often. ^^

friendship

I think i'm not being unfair. i'm having a struggle within. do you i'm loving this? hinde. nahihirapan ako. SOBRA. may problema ka lang sa attachment mo, i hae this. ayoko ng mga ganito.

genrre

uunahin ko muna sa sarili ko. kakacheck ko lang ng fb. dami koong nakita, common faces.

i felt in need to search my world, my life, kung saan talaga ako. KUNG SINO TALAGA AKO. tama nga si erik erikson.. identity versus role confusion ang mga stages na to. hope i can get over on this soon,

para sa'yo to>>> sa taong pinili kong magustuhan, hinde naman ako naging malaking parte ng buhay mo, sa mga sandaling lasing ka, at naramdaman ko kung sino ka talaga, at kung ano ang pagkatao mo. mabuti kang tao. hinde ako umaasang mgkakagusto ka saken. hinde ko kayang umikot sa mundo mo, hinde ko kayang sumabay at makibagay sa mga taong nakapaligid sa'yo. siguro duwag lang ako. sana. alam kong masaya ka, dahil iniisip mong masaya ka. muntik na nga kitang mahalin. hehe. buti na lang hinde. nakalimutan ko na rin kung pano maramdaman un.


para sa'yo to>>> sa MGA TAONG kinaiingitan ko, aaminin ko, tao lang ako. hinde ko maiwasang maramdam ng mga bagay na hinde dapt katulad ng ganito. iniisip ko, sana ako na lang ikaw, iniisip ko pano kung naging ganyan din ako. pano kung ako un nawala. pano kung ako ung gumwa ng kabutihan.. may makakaisip ba? may makakaalala ba? kung mawawala ba ako ng biglaan ngayon, may maghahanap ba?pano nila ako hahanapin? pano nila ako maalala. pano ko makikita ang tunay na kahalagahan ng isang PAGSASAMA.


para sa'yo to>>> sa ngiisang taong minahal ko.. alam mong isa ka ng parte ng buhay ko. hinde na kita maalis sabuhay ko anu man ang gawin ko at natutuwa ako't andyan ka parin. patuloy na naniniwala at hinde pa rin umaalis. tinupad mo ang sinabing mong hinde moko iiwan. maraming salamat sayo. naramdaman ko kahit papano ng isang taong tumitinging espesyal din ako.


para sa'yo to>>>> sa mga kaibigan ko, natutuwa ako at natanggap nyo kung sino at ano ako. tinutulungan nyo rin akong makita kungako patungo. kung ano ang magiging ako.hinde nyo ko iniwan sa mga oras na kailangan ko kayo. sa mga oras na kailangan ko ng kausa at mayayakap anjan kayo. sa mga oras na kailangan ko ng payo, ng suporta hinde kayo nagdadalawang isip na tulungan ako. hinde sapat ang espasyong ito kung pano ko sasabhin ang mga gusto kong malaman nyo. pero mahal ko kayo at hinde na magbabago un.

just keep in track

i would like to keep myself in track.. even though i get myself into trouble sometimes.
i'd like to see myself wander in this world,carefree..

to see the beauty beyond every hurt, to see the hope beyond every letting go.. its the REALITY.
THE WAY WE EXIST. and getting through it, its not that easy you know. it is something that we need to learn, it is something we need to nurture everyday step of the way.

haay. need to start browsing my books for tomorrow's quiz. i started on my pharma requirements but i quit because my ballpen go nuts. it just pisses me off. i'm 20 minutes late for my self-timed schedule. hehe

just sharing my thought for this day,. just stayed at home. surifng the net all day. :))

nars

tinatamad pa akong magaral for grand return demonstration para bukas.. you see, ngbablog lang ako tapos twitter.. facebook is so over. LOL. tapos vent out lang ng feelings/emotions. tapos katext ko si lawrence ( long time ever suitor ko, bestfriend na din.) aun. tapos i only had mango juice for brunch ( breakfact and lunch) at ngayon natetempt akong mgsiseta( wag naman sana) dahil..

MAGAARAL PA AKO!!!!